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Adam Cairns's avatar

The thicket is exactly right — and notice what the cutting back actually does. It doesn't just make the poem smaller; it lets light in, and the shape that was always in there starts to show. That's your "more shapely" — not something you added, but something you uncovered.

The lost couplet is the moment I'd trust most. If the poem still stands without it — still says what it was reaching to say — then the couplet was thicket, however fond you were of it. That's the whole test, really: lift the line out and see whether the poem holds its own weight. Sounds like yours did.

Thank you for reading it so closely, Becky.

Adam Cairns's avatar

Thanks Ian. I agree, although it sometimes needs a deep breath!

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